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Ride Along 2 Is The Best Way To Enjoy Ride Along 1 All Over Again

The Ride Along 2 is “The Force Awakens” of comedy.  You’ve seen the plot before, but you just don’t care.  Once again, Ice Cube plays the cop with the permanent WTF face.  And Kevin Hart plays the winey little biatch.  Now Hart’s role is believable.  But Cube playing a cop?  That just makes you go, “Didn’t he get famous for rapping ‘F*** The Police’?”

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The big change in The Ride Along 2 is, it’s set it in Miami.  And you know this because they show a whole bunch of water and boobies.

Cube and Hart go to Miami to capture a criminal computer hacker played by Ken Jeong.  The problem is when Jeong sees the guys he runs away like a little girl.  So Hart runs after him through backyards, jumps on a trampoline, and then ends up face first in a chicken coop.  And when Hart comes out of the coop Cube looks at him like, “Man you just got beat worse than Ronda Rousey.”

Eventually Hart and Cube capture Jeong.  But they lose him later in a night club.  Once this happens, Cube and Hart come outside of the club and see Cube’s car blow up like it’s in a bad Pitbull video.  That’s when officer Olivia Munn comes to the scene dressed up in her best bra top.  Yeah, the producers must have been like, “You’re a respected officer of the law, so show plenty of chest.”

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So of coarse Cube decides to work with Munn because now he respects her mind.  And once again the boys track down Jeong.  This time they learn Jeong worked for the bad guy Benjamin Bratt and stole a boatload of his cash.  So much cash that Bratt’s henchmen want Jeong to be really dead.  This leads to a car chase where Hart imagines he’s driving in Grand Theft Auto.  Points go up on the screen.  Cars turn into pixels.  And Cube turns into a computerized version of the same a-hole cop.

All of these chases lead to the final showdown with Bratt.  In the end Bratt dies and Hart saves Cube by taking two bullets to the chest.  The funny part is once Cube learns Hart has a bullet proof vest on, Cube uses him as a human shield.  Way to go brother in law.

The Straight Dope:  You’ve got to see this movie for the GTA, telephone and pizza scenes.  This is not an Oscar contender, but then again I don’t think they care.

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Straight Outta Compton Movie Is The Gansta Way Of Saying, “Hey…Stop It!”

Straight Outta Compton tells us the origins of N.W.A.  The first fun fact is N.W.A. doesn’t stand for North West Airlines.  And the guys in this group are a little touch on the angry side.  Apparently they just don’t like The Man.

But to announce their anger then need to make a record and they need cash.  So Easy E rolls up and says,  “You’re in luck, today it looks like they’re giving out free money in the hood.  Why don’t we take these stacks of cash and make conservative white people mad.”

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But as they push the envelope the cops come down on them hard.  Ice Cube is like,  “F–K Tha Police.  Hey wait, record that and let’s make another million dollars.”

After N.W.A gets hit after hit, Ice Cube says, “If I’m writing most of the songs I probably should get a little more than jack squat.”  So he breaks off from the group and makes a diss record.  And the guys are like, “It’s really hard to be mad at the guy when he gives us the lyrical middle finger in style.”

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Once Cube leaves, Dre is next.  And Easy is left with N.W.A.’s manager who is an old crusty white dude.  But even this relationship goes sour when Easy finds out the old white dude is a bigger gangster than him.  And then Suge enters the picture and Easy is like, “That old dude has nothing on Suge.”

The Straight Dope:  All kidding aside, see this movie it is great.  This movie is a remarkable story about N.W.A. and Easy E.  Their story reminds all of us to not accept what we are given and challenge authority in all forms when we know it is wrong.  BLACK LIVES MATTER, ALL LIVES MATTER!

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