In the Nice Guys, Russell Crowe plays a hitman for hire and Ryan Gosling plays a private dick. Crowe and Gosling are in LA in the seventies so expect to see people who look like they just came off of a set of a Ron Jeremy porno. There’s polyester, a little too much hair and not enough plot.
In the beginning Gosling is paid to find a girl named Amelia. And Crowe is paid to tell Gosling, “This is not the chick you’re looking for. And just so you get the point, now you get a broken arm.”
So Crowe thinks the job is over until he comes home to find two dudes who ask him about Amelia using only their fists. The beating continues on until one idiot guy opens a bag in Crowe’s apartment and gets a blue paint money shot right to the face. This is when Crow is like, “Say hello to my gun you stupid blue smurf.”
After this, Crowe is now annoyed. So he tracks down Gosling in a bathroom right as Gosling is trying to drop a bomb. It’s pure comedy because Gosling then draws his gun and has to keep on kicking the stall door open while his pants are down by his ankles.
Eventually Gosling is persuaded to help Crowe because he really likes cash. Next the guys go to Amelia’s protest group, which leads them to her boyfriends house and eventually to a party at a porn guys mansion. Which is extremely seventies.
At this party Crowe interrogates people, Gosling gets drunk, and Gosling’s 13 year old daughter Angourie Rice finds Amelia proving she’s the best detective of the bunch. But once Angourie finds Amelia, Crowe runs into the blue face bad guy. Then Crowe is like, “Now I’m just going to kill you dead.”
So the guys find out everybody’s after Amelia because she’s made a protest movie about how Detroit is lying about car smog emissions. And she decided to make this protest movie using a porno format. Furthermore the head of the department of justice is trying to kill her and this person just happens to be her mother Kim Basinger.
So now the goal is to get that porno protest film. As the guys go after the film, Amelia gets killed by Matt Bomer. Then there is a big showdown at the LA auto show where Crowe beats up a whole bunch of people. Meanwhile, Gosling gets drunk and barely recues the film from fire and oncoming traffic.
The Straight Dope: This is a slow burning detective movie. Gosling is great as the guy who thinks he has it all figured out, but in reality is stumbling through life like a drunk Hasselhoff eating a hamburger.
More Effin Funny Reviews at effinfunnyreview.com.