Posted on Leave a comment

Ouija: Origin Of Evil Is Also The Origin Of Reigniting Your Fears Of Creepy Little Girls

In Ouija: Origin of Evil Elizabeth Reaser plays a mom who accidentaly turns her house into Grand Central Station for ghosts.  For some reason this lady thinks it’s cool to bring a ouija board into her house just to become a ghetto fabulous fortune teller.  And the moment I saw this lady’s plan I was like, “Hate to be stereotypical, but why does it always have to be a dumb white lady.  Because I can pretty much guarantee Madea would not put up with that mess.”

madea from the movie boo. tyler perry dressed up as madea with the glasses speaking directly to the camera. witten meme: if I was inveited to this ouija house party you'd better believe I'd be saying boo and kicking some ghost booty

And the moment Reaser uses this board the spirts decide to use her daughter Lulu Wilson as a little demon puppet girl.  Lulu gets possessed, starts answering ouija board questions and then acts like nothing ever happened.  And that’s when I said to myself, “Great so this is going to be one of those demon denial movies.”

Next Lulu uses the ouija board by herself.  The board lets her communicate with spirts and even leads her to money in the basement to save the house from foreclosure.  Once this happens the mom is like, “That little meal ticket is not going to school.”

As Lulu uses the board more, she gets further possessed until one night she looks into a mirror and her body is taken over by a ghost who looks like he just got invited to a gimp latex party.  From here on out, Lulu whispers demon secrets in peoples ears and starts walking on the walls and the ceiling.  That’s when her sister Annalise Basso realizes something may be a little off.  So she gets Father Henry Thomas to use his extensive experience with demons and aliens.

ouija origin of evil with henry thomas dressed as a priest wearing a black shirt with a white collar. He has a gray sweater. He is speaking to a family. Written meme: we're dealing with a possession. Fortunately I specialize in demons and E.T.

When Henry gets to the house, he gets a reading just to trick Lulu the demon.  Then he takes the mom and sister aside and talks to them in Lulu’s super haunted room.  And that’s when I was like, “Apparently more people just equals more stupid decisions.”

In the room they figure out that the demon was a doctor who liked to torture people in the basement.  So their next brilliant plan is to burn the Ouija board in the furnace of that same exact basement.  Which made say, “I would have probably gone with burning down the whole effin house.”  But of coarse they don’t do that.  And that’s when Father Henry gets possessed, the mom gets killed and Annalise gets sent to a mental hospital.  Making this movie perfect family fun for anybody with the last name Manson.

ADD Movie Review: For like the millionth time people use a Ouija board in a house and then everyone ends up really dead.

gas guage for comicpopcorn. Gray with white numbers and a red needle. the red needle is pointing to 1/4 full. Written next to the gas guage is how full the theater was on opening day

 More Funny Reviews at

Leave a Reply