Latest Funny Review

Sully Tries To Explain Why Some Old Dude Turned An Airplane Into The World’s Largest Jet Ski

tom hanks from the movie sully. He is seen through an airplane window. He is standing in rough water with a dark gray sky in the background. Tom Hanks is wearing an airplane pilot's uniform. He is looking to the left and has his hand on his chest. Written below him is the name sully

The movie opens with Sully (Tom Hanks) imagining what would have happened if he crashed the plane into NYC instead of using the Hudson as a giant slip and slide.  Which made me go, “This is a smart guy because, there’s never really any parking available in Times Square.”

But once Sully gets past his senior moment, he and his co-pilot Aaron Eckhart go to a preliminary hearing with the transportation authority.  At the meeting the guys say that plane’s power was taken out by some birds who lost a game of engine chicken.  Therefore the only option they had was to turn the plane into a boat.  And that’s when the transportation authority is like, “Hold on sky cowboys.  We ran twenty computer simulations and you had enough power in the left engine to land safely in not so safe New Jersey.” 

tom hanks from sully the movie. Tom hanks is dressed in a white pilot's uniform. He has the phone up to his right ear. He has a communication device in his left ear. He has a concerned look on his face. Written meme sometimes I just think maybe I should stay away from things that fly 

Of coarse this information is shocking.  So to capitalize on our emotional investment, Clint shows us the water landing from the point of view of Sully and the air traffic controller.  Even though everyone survives, it still makes you feel like never buying a plane ticket ever again.  But that’s not the most messed up part.  This comes later when someone tells the air traffic controller, “You know the plane where you thought everyone died?  Well they actually made it and we totally forgot to tell you.  Sorry dude.”

But once that drama is over, Clint decides to show us the whole crash again from the first responders point of view.  Which is cool but it made me think, “This movie needs to have the option of fast forward.  Or Clint just needs to pay the editing department.”

clint eastwood and tom hanks from the movie sully. They are leaning on a railing. Clint eastwood has a FDNY hat, and he looks like he is talking to Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks has his arms crossed. Written meme by the way, nice job looking like Leslie Nielsen from airplane

After we see the crash again, they finally show the trial.  Initially the live simulations show that the pilots are able to land at both runways.  But that’s when Sully is like, “Hey idiots you didn’t take into account the time needed for the pilots to say, ‘You know, we’re really effed.’”  

So the transportation guys grudgingly add thirty five seconds to the simulation.  And that’s when both simulations land directly into a building.  Then the transportation guys are like, “Okay, you got us.  So let’s listen to the flight recorder and bore everyone with same exact wreck again.”  Which just made me go, “At this point I’ve seen the same wreck so many times, I feel like I’m qualified for PTSD benefits.”

ADD Movie Review:  Clint does a good job of keeping the story intense even though he had all of five minutes of source material.  You will see the same wreck three times in a row which is good news for anyone with ADD or the mind of a five year old.

Gas guage dark grey with light grey background. The needle is red pointing to the number 1/2. Written next the gas gauge is how full the theater was on opening day. Comic Popcorn Theater Gas Gauge
More Funny Reviews at comicpopcorn.com.

About joejcom (103 Articles)
Every movie deserves an Funny Review. Check out how I spin the funny on a different movie each week.

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