Suicide Squad starts with Viola Davis introducing every bad guy like she’s reading off the degenerate version of LinkedIn. We quickly learn Will Smith is called Deadshot and he never misses a target or a fat payday. Then you have Margot Robbie who got romanced by Jared Leto the Marilyn Manson of Jokers. But the real baddie of the bunch is Cara Delevingne who is Enchantress the witch. She has the power to destroy the whole world and the whole movie.
Davis puts this team together because she wants to protect the US from a future evil Superman or a current questionable Trump. But as soon as the team gets the green light, Enchantress runs away, frees her brother and then starts building a witchy woman machine to make the world dead. And Davis is like, “Yeah, that was completely opposite of my plan.”
So her next move is to put the Suicide Squad in play by sending them to battle people who have been turned into large turd monsters. And this is when Smith really shines as Deadshot because he gives every monster the gift of lead.
Once the squad gets done laying waste to monsters, we learn this battle was just to save Davis. Which kinda makes you go, “Well that was an effin waste of time.” But once Davis is safe, everyone goes to the roof a building to get picked up by a military helicopter. But when they get to the roof the helicopter lights it up like the fourth of July. And that’s when we learn Joker and his boys are in the helicopter just to pick up Harley Quinn, the Arkham centerfold of the month.
Once Harley Quinn is on the helicopter Davis is like, “Hey Deadshot, I think one of your bullets would feel right at home in her head.” But that’s when Smith misses and Davis is forced to call in an airstrike right out of thin air. Fortunately Harley Quinn escapes but we are led to believe the Joker is dead, dead, dead. And this gives Leto plenty of time to apply more make up and enjoy the full offerings of the craft services table.
Next Davis is taken by Enchantress. And that’s when Smith is like, “She was a bitch, so let’s go have a drink.” Only after five minutes of weak sauce pep talk the team decides to go after Enchantress and her super huge brother.
Finally this is when we get see the very shy Diablo turn into a giant flaming dude.
With teamwork, the squad is able to take out the brother. Then Robbie is able to trick the witch and cut out her heart. Finally Smith is able shoot an explosive in the middle of the machine so it looks like somebody hit rewind on CGI maker 2001.
ADD Movie Review: The movie would have been better if they let Joker build the team of baddies. But instead we got fifteen minutes of Joker and like 15 hours of weird witchy plot.
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