Latest Funny Review

Lights Out Will Make You Jump Out Of Your Seat And Straight Into The Pharmacy To Get Some Prozac

Lights out movie poster with Teresa Palmer in the foreground lit up. In the backround there are several spotlights on the floor. in the second spotlight is Alicia Vela-Bailey as the dark character diana. Diana is completely in the dark - you can't make out her features. Written on the poster is darkeness will consume you. Lights out

Lights Out features a undead chicka named Diana who’s major enemy is any source of lightThat’s right she hates flashlights, headlights and  pretty much the whole power company. 

In this movie Maria Bello is a depressed mom who decides to stop her meds and start talking to dirty Diana of the dead.  And Bello’s son Gabriel Bateman is caught in the middle of this friendship which means he gets scared every night and has to sleep even more than normal in school.

Alicia vela-bailey from the movie lights out. Alicia is dressed as the character diana. She is next to a light with her mouth open, completely covered eyes with a white film. She is screaming. Written Meme: not conna lie, it's kinda hard to steady work when your name is gollum

But eventually, Bateman’s big sister Teresa Palmer realizes it’s not cool for her brother to be at a house with a couple of crazies.  So she takes her brother to her apartment.  But what she doesn’t realize is Diana tags along like a really unwanted ghoulish third wheel.  And even more scary, the next day Palmer gets a surprise visit from the social worker.  The social worker is like, “Lady, your apartment really sucks.  That’s why Bateman is going back to that giant scary house with no lights and a creepy demon.”  But once her brother leaves, Palmer cleans up and she notices the name Diana scratched in her floor.  And Palmer is like, “Biatch, it’s one thing to be scary but it’s another thing to mess with my rental deposit.”

In response, Palmer takes her boyfriend Alexander DiPersia to her mom’s house to regulate that undead Banksy.  And that’s when they learn back in the day Diana and Bello were mental facility BFFs.  Bello was getting treated for depression and Diana was getting treated for just being an evil witch.

teresa palmer from lights out the movie. Teresa is in a door fram grabbing the sides of the door. There is a look of shock on her face. She is wearing a grey shirt. Written meme: ok, so that goes under the category of WTF

Palmer confronts Bello about this, but that’s when Bello runs off and leaves Palmer going, “Great. I guess we just earned a free night in the creepy dark house.”  So to prepare for the coming onslaught of Diana, Palmer and her boyfriend put a light bulb in every light of the house.  This has the not so impressive effect of making the house about as bright as a cellphone with an almost dead battery.

Next when Palmer tries to make amends with her mom, Bello opens her bedroom door, smiles and then hands Palmer a note that says “I need help.”  Strangely Palmer takes one look at the note and is like, “Sounds good I’m gonna go sleep in the other room.  Good luck.”

Then things get really freaky when all of the lights go out and Diana goes into ghost attack beast mode.  Diana even goes after the boyfriend who stops her by using the light from his phone and the headlights from his car.  Proving once again, Diana is like the weakest demon ever created.  In the end Bello finally gets rid of Diana by killing herself.  Which makes you go, “I know the mom was crazy.  I’m not sure if Diana was real.  But what I do know is I’m effin confused.”

ADD Movie Review:  This movie is full of jump scares and way too many people who think it’s cool to wander in a dark scary house with a piss poor source of light.

a gas guage like you would see on a car with a grey background and a red needle pointing to 1/4 full. written to the side of the gauge that says how full the theater was on opening day. Comic Popcorn guage

More Funny Reviews at comicpopcorn.com.

About joejcom (103 Articles)
Every movie deserves an Funny Review. Check out how I spin the funny on a different movie each week.

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