Central Intelligence is a buddy movie with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson playing a goofy CIA agent and Kevin Hart playing an accountant with the strength of a little girl.
The movie starts out with Johnson as a kid in high school with a body that is less like a rock and more like a bowl of Jello. Fortunately when Johnson gets depantsed in front of the whole school, Hart is there to save him and go, “This is not cool it’s just gross.”
Then years go by and Hart becomes an accountant who’s like, “You know my life kind of blows.” He needs a change, so he accepts a Facebook request from Johnson who now looks like a Greek god but still acts like a giddy thirteen year old boy.
Once Hart and Johnson hang out, at the end of the night Johnson is like, “That was fun. By the way can you use your skills as an accountant to look up a super sketchy bank account online? Oh yeah, and can I crash on your couch and wear your pajamas?” Then Hart wakes up the next morning to a non voluntary breakfast with the CIA.
The agents tell Hart that Johnson is trying to sell codes to some bad guys so that they can control the US satellite system. And Hart is like, “Are we talking about the same guy? Because the one I know likes to work out and watch Pretty in Pink.”
But the agents convince Hart that Johnson is suspect, and they all go to his office. That’s when Johnson shows up and tells Hart, “Now you’re working with me because that account you looked up happened to be way illegal.” Next there is a big fire fight with all of the CIA agents. Then Johnson puts Hart into a mail cart. Then they bust through a window, fall several stories onto an inflatable ape and just steal some poor guys Uber.
Next Hart tries to ditch The Rock but Mr Johnson just keeps on showing up like a bad hemorrhoid. Like when Hart tries to warn his wife about the danger he’s in at couples therapy only to find out The Rock is playing the counseling doctor.
But eventually Hart turns Johnson into the CIA. But then Hart realizes that maybe Johnson isn’t the bad guy after all and that leader of the CIA is after the codes. Which makes you wonder, “Why are they making this comedy so complex?”
Fortunately everything comes to a head in the end when Johnson and his former partner Aaron Paul try to sell the codes to the same bad guy. This is when there is a huge gun battle. Then The Rock and Paul fight each other until Kevin Hart shoots Johnson in the ass. This gives Paul an opportunity to explain in detail why he is the real bad thus giving The Rock ample time to recover and give Paul some of what he’s been cooking.
The ADD Movie Review: The movie has some funny parts but it’s way confusing. Fortunately most of the funny parts involve Johnson being a living hulk with the mind of a teenage boy.
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