Latest Funny Review

The Nice Guys Is A 1970’s Buddy Detective Movie With A Nice Sprinkling Of Protest and Porn

The nice guys movie poster with russell crowe and ryan gosling. Yellow background with the nice guys written in big white font. russel crowe is standing with his arms folded in front of him in a blue jacket and sun glasses. Ryan gosling has a mustache with his hand on his chin. Gosling has his tie undone, has a broken arm on the left and a gun in a holster

In the Nice Guys, Russell Crowe plays a hitman for hire and Ryan Gosling plays a private dick.  Crowe and Gosling are in LA in the seventies so expect to see people who look like they just came off of a set of a Ron Jeremy porno.  There’s polyester, a little too much hair and not enough plot.

In the beginning Gosling is paid to find a girl named Amelia.  And Crowe is paid to tell Gosling, “This is not the chick you’re looking for.  And just so you get the point, now you get a broken arm.”

So Crowe thinks the job is over until he comes home to find two dudes who ask him about Amelia using only their fists.  The beating continues on until one idiot guy opens a bag in Crowe’s apartment and gets a blue paint money shot right to the face.  This is when Crow is like, “Say hello to my gun you stupid blue smurf.”

After this, Crowe is now annoyed.  So he tracks down Gosling in a bathroom right as Gosling is trying to drop a bomb.  It’s pure comedy because Gosling then draws his gun and has to keep on kicking the stall door open while his pants are down by his ankles.

ryan gosling from the nice guys sitting in a bathroom stall in a bowling alley bathroom. The stall is orange. Ryan gosling is sitting on the toilet holding a gun. He has his pants at his ankles. His left arm is broken. He is smoking a cigarette. Written meme ladies this is what happened to the dreamboat from the notebook

Eventually Gosling is persuaded to help Crowe because he really likes cash.  Next the guys go to Amelia’s protest group, which leads them to her boyfriends house and eventually to a party at a porn guys mansion.  Which is extremely seventies.

At this party Crowe interrogates people, Gosling gets drunk, and Gosling’s 13 year old daughter Angourie Rice finds Amelia proving she’s the best detective of the bunch.  But once Angourie finds Amelia, Crowe runs into the blue face bad guy.  Then Crowe is like, “Now I’m just going to kill you dead.”

So the guys find out everybody’s after Amelia because she’s made a protest movie about how Detroit is lying about car smog emissions.  And she decided to make this protest movie using a porno format.  Furthermore the head of the department of justice is trying to kill her and this person just happens to be her mother Kim Basinger.

Russell crowe and ryan gosling from the nice guys movie. Russell crowe is standing in a blue pleather jacket with his hands in his pocket. Ryan gosling is in a blue suit with an undone yellow tie. Gosling has a piece of paper in his hand. They are both in a room with leopard wall paper. Written meme so you're telling us your mom wants you dead, and her name is Kim Basinger? WTF.

So now the goal is to get that porno protest film.  As the guys go after the film, Amelia gets killed by Matt Bomer.  Then there is a big showdown at the LA auto show where Crowe beats up a whole bunch of people.   Meanwhile, Gosling gets drunk and barely recues the film from fire and oncoming traffic.

The Straight Dope:  This is a slow burning detective movie.  Gosling is great as the guy who thinks he has it all figured out, but in reality is stumbling through life like a drunk Hasselhoff eating a hamburger.

Gas guage dark grey with light grey background. The needle is red pointing to the number 1/2. Written next the gas gauge is how full the theater was on opening day. Effin Funny Review Theater Gas Gauge

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About joejcom (103 Articles)
Every movie deserves an Funny Review. Check out how I spin the funny on a different movie each week.

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