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Mockingjay Part 2 Is A Jam Packed Explosive Ride Of Depression

In Mockingjay Part 2 Jennifer Lawrence opens the movie with a jacked-up neck and the speaking ability of a mime.  That’s right. The only way she can communicate is to write a note or shoot someone with an arrow.  What genius said, “I think it’s a good idea for the girl on fire not to speak.  She doesn’t need an Oscar.”

But fortunately Lawrence gets her voice back.  And right away she tells Julianne Moore,  “I’m going to fight on the front lines like a baller.”  And Moore is like, “Great, now we have to figure out how to spin her death.”

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So Moore tries to compromise with Lawrence and tells her, “You can fight but you’ll be miles away from the action and you’ll have more media coverage than a Kardashian.  Oh and by the way we’re sending you with Gale the boyfriend you never loved and Peeta the boyfriend who is trying to kill you.  Good luck.”

So J.Law, J.Hutch, L.Hems and a special forces team head out to kill President Snow who is also know as D.Suth.

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But the problem is the whole city is booby trapped with guns, hot oil, and really aggressive green sewer guys.

But eventually the resistance captures Snow.  And Snow tells Lawrence, “Hey idiot, you’re being played by both sides.”  This is confirmed when Moore becomes president and institutes a new hunger games.  So of coarse Lawrence reacts really maturely and puts an arrow straight through Julianne Moore’s heart.  Hey Katniss, I don’t think that sensitivity training worked.

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The Straight Dope:  This movie shows the ugly side of war.  A bunch of people die and then everyone is left going, “Great, we have no water, food or internet.  This blows.”

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