Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse proves nothing brings bros together like killing an undead stripper. That right, problems seem to melt away when all she’s really after is to suck the brain out of your skull.
The movie starts out with scouts Tye Sheridan, Logan Miller and Joey Morgan going on a campout. The problem is Tye and Logan want to quit scouts because that uniform is like kryptonite for girls. They realize women don’t find a man sexy when he wears badges and a handkerchief tie.
So Tye and Logan ditch Joey to go to a secret senior party. But once Tye and Logan get into town they notice it’s unusually quiet. But more importantly they notice there’s no bouncer at the strip club. And the boys are like, “This is a gift from God.”
So they go into the club and get a dance. But unfortunately the dance is by a zombie stripper with half of her neck missing. That’s when the boys get a nice full facial of blood. But things only get gross when a bad ass hot chick named Denise uses her shotgun on the stripper’s head like she’s playing whack-a-mole.
Fortunately Denise and the boys get away. But they continue to be chased by a group of bastard zombies. Like at one point Tye is trapped in a second story window and does not want to fall. So naturally, he stops his fall by grabbing onto a zombies wang. Yeah, we get a nice close up of the zombie’s manhood stretching before it finally snaps off and lands into another zombies mouth. Now that’s quality filmmaking.
But the best part of the movie is when the all the guys get back together and bring out the zombie weed-whacker, the nail gun arrow, and the pop gun that takes out multiple zombies in a row. Giving them a chance to finally earn that undead killer badge.
The Straight Dope: You’ll love this movie if you’re a teenage boy or just simply think like one. Furthermore I think Mark Wahlberg and Ted would be proud to put their stamp of approval on this fine piece of work.
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