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Transporter Refueled Is The Low Octane Ride Of The Summer

Transporter Refueled gives us another reason to avoid British guys in a suit. Because the moment they put on that suit, jump in that European car, you know there goes half of Paris.

But for this latest movie they call it refueled because they try to trick us with a different British bloke.  Thinking we’re not going to notice they just refueled the movie with Statham lite.


Making the movie feel less like a well-tuned Audi and more like a grandma driving a Prius.

In the new movie the transporter Ed Skrein is forced to help a group of hot female assassins take out their former pimp.  He has to do the job because, they show him a video of his father being held hostage by a beautiful girl.  And Skrein’s like, “I’ll do anything as long as you don’t show my father having sex.  That’s just gross.”

So Skrein and the girls proceed to destroy the pimp’s organization.  And every step of the way they find a reason to drive an Audi in completely ridiculous places.  Like jumping an Audi into the airplane passenger boarding bridge.  Yeah this is the same people bridge where you can barely fit carry-on luggage.


But as things progress the pimp gets mad which leads to a shoot out like the movie Scarface.  Although in the Transporter’s case, you really don’t care if anyone kicks the bucket.

The Straight Dope:  Even without Statham, if you give me some action and a British accent I will pretty much see any thing even if it is called The Janitor: Urinal Cakes Reloaded.


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