In Pixels aliens intercept a space probe we sent out in 1982. They take one look at the images on that probe and go, “That Pacman is one bad dude.” Apparently we find the only E.T.’s dumber than us. Because the aliens think the images are an act of war. Yeah, that makes sense. Who wouldn’t be afraid of a probe powered by a 9-volt with images from an eight track.
But the aliens are convinced this means war. And they strike first by attacking us with giant pixelated versions of 1982 game characters. The military freaks out and alerts our president Kevin James. That’s right in the future we elect Paul Blart. Which means, the new list of presidents goes Lincoln, Kennedy and that mall cop on a Segway.
Fortunately President Blart is able to get together some of the best gamers from 1982. He rounds up Josh Gad, Peter Dinklage and Adam Sandler and tells them, ”We win or the earth is toast.” But unfortunately the guys have that gamer body that makes you think there’s really nothing fantastic about those four.
But that’s what is cool about this movie. It’s up to the gamers to defeat life sized a Centipede, PacMan and Donkey Kong. Letting the world know all of those hours in front of the Atari comes in handy as long as the earth is attacked by a demented alien force.
The Straight Dope: This movie is fun. You know you’re in the right state of mind to see it if you love old school games or love the idea the world could be saved by Happy Gilmore and President Blart.
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