So Schwarzenegger is in the new Terminator Genisys. I don’t know what’s stronger, a terminator or Arnold’s career. Because every time you count that dude out he’s like, “I’m back bitches.” Yeah, we know. You’ll be back, and back, and back. I wouldn’t be surprised if he writes “I’ll be back” on his tombstone.
But at least we get another terminator movie. The only problem is this movie comes with a whole new raft of problems. For instance, Kyle Resse goes back in time to save Sara Conner but quickly learns she’s had her own terminator since age nine. An instantly Kyle is like, “Wow you’re a baller.”
Sara goes, “Hey we’re in an alternate 1984 which happens to be the same plot as Back to the Future 2. I don’t have time to explain, just go rent the movie.”
But now that they’re in a new timeline, Sara and Kyle need to travel to 2017 to stop judgement day. I guess the writers thought keeping judgement day at 1997 would mean we’re actually all dead.
But the crazy part is when they get to 2017, Sara and Reese discover Skynet has made John Connor into the ultimate terminator. John’s job is to make sure Skynet goes live and also to cover up any random plot holes.
In the end Sara, Resse and Arnold stop John Connor and Skynet. My only problem with this is Skynet is a connected operating system. And all it takes to get it up and running again is to get a programmer and give him a steady supply of Funyuns and Diet Coke.
The Straight Dope: The only way to see this movie is to ignore what they say about time and just sit back and enjoy the things that go boom.