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Jurassic World Shows Us that Making A Designer Dino Is A Jurassic Mistake

So they made Jurassic World which is also know as “Smart Dino Kills Dumb Human 4.”  Come on people, even Disney realized, “Hey, maybe I should call it quits with creepy robot Lincoln.”

But in Jurassic World they need to boost attendance.  So they create a super dino with the body of a T-Rex and the mind of a raptor.   My first thought was, this is not going to end well.


Hey guys maybe you want to take some baby steps and give the dino the mental power of Magic Mike. Then you can charge extra for watching him work the stripper pole.


Fortunately Chris Pratt is able to track down the dangerous dino Indominus Rex.  But when I saw Pratt and his raptors chasing after Indominus I thought, now would be a good time to pull out the awesome mix.  Maybe play a little Walk the Dinosaur.

But the reason Indominus is so bad is because he’s a military experiment. We don’t get learn this until he destroys half of the park. But at least Jurassic World keeps up with the theme as the most unhappy place on earth.

The Straight Dope: Jurassic World is one of those movies where you’re just waiting for some idiot to screw up. Then a really good vacation turns into the worse review on Yelp. My advice is see the movie but never ever, ever, ever go to the park.

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