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The Entourage Movie Is More Like A Pay Per View Episode

The Entourage movie promises to take us to the next level.  I never knew there’s a level beyond crazy stupid cash and fame.  Even the one percenters in Hollywood are like, “Yeah, that’s not real.”

But why did it take them so long to come up with this movie?  In the time it took to make Entourage they could have made the whole Game of Thrones.


In Entourage Ari gives Vince one hundred million dollars to act and direct a movie.  And about five minutes later Vince says, “We need more cash.”  So Ari has to go get money from the the film backers Billy Bob Thorton and his son Haley Joel Osment.  Billy Bob sends his son to Hollywood to check in on the movie and basically act like a Beverly Hillbilly.


Meanwhile during the whole movie Turtle and E spend their time doing nothing important. But I have to admit it is entertaining to see Turtle get in the ring with Ronda Rousey.  They get in the ring, she charges Turtle and instantly you think, “She’s really going to beat his ass.  She is going to put Mr Christian Grey to shame.”


Another highlight of the movie is when TMZ releases a sex tape by Johnny Drama.  The problem is it’s a solo tape called Johnny’s banana.  As far as sex tapes go this is just a step above pretty much nothing.

The Straight Dope: As you can imagine everything comes together in the end.  The movie is a success.  Drama gets a golden globe.  Ari makes a ton of money.  And you’re in the audience going, “I waited for this?  Nice, I just paid $12.50 for an extended episode.”


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