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San Andreas Movie Is About When The Earth Turns It Up To Eleven

San Andreas is a movie about a big earthquake.  But the most stressful part of this movie is seeing it in California.  Because you don’t know if this the big one or some punk playing with the bass.


The main hero of the movie is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.  Perfect California’s in trouble and we call the inventor of the peoples elbow.


If he can’t save us, then maybe The Governator can.

So the movie starts out in LA and then it gets destroyed.  Then they move to San Francisco and it gets destroyed.  Then they fly over Bakersfield and the producer is like, “I don’t know how to make this city worse.  Maybe we should just add more looting than normal.”

First The Rock saves his wife in LA.  Then he flies up to San Francisco to save his daughter.  Hey Rock thanks for forgetting to save everyone else.

But the problem is when The Rock gets San Francisco there is a tsunami.  And to get to his daughter he needs to drive over the top.  So he of coarse he does it because he’s not afraid of some stupid jabroni wave.  Hey you can never get enough cheesy one-liners.


The Straight Dope:  The earthquakes in this movie are scary, but a little less so when you realize some of the scenes look like the back lot tour?  Maybe I would be a little more scared if they added a giant fake shark.  But  definitely go see this movie for the pure entertainment value and the earthquake special effects.

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