Posted on Leave a comment

Fifty Shades of Grey: The Idiots Guide to S & M

Fifty Shades of Grey got me with the billboard that says “Curious?”.  Indeed, but I was also Fifty Shades of Scared. 

The problem is I was burned on the last S&M movie I saw.  To be fair, I should have turned the TV off when I noticed Rosie O’Donnell in drag.  There are just some things you can’t un-see.


But I was still curious enough to go to the ticket counter and say, “One for Fifty Shades of Grey.”  And instantly I got a look from the teenager like, ok, one ticket for S&M porn.

In case you are wondering, there is no tampon scene.  This is too gross for a movie, but just right for a book.


Don’t worry, this movie is still full of deviant stuff.  But there is nothing more deviant than watching a sex movie with soccer moms.  

Unfortunately the end of the movie was very abrupt.  I was like, “That’s it?  That’s the end?  I didn’t even have to use my safe word.”  Maybe they just ran out of things to make me squirm in my seat. 

If you like idea of S&M then go see this movie.  If S&M is less of an idea and more of a reality, then this movie might put you to sleep.  And you might just be a little bit of a weirdo.

Leave a Reply