Fifty Shades of Grey got me with the billboard that says “Curious?”. Indeed, but I was also Fifty Shades of Scared.
The problem is I was burned on the last S&M movie I saw. To be fair, I should have turned the TV off when I noticed Rosie O’Donnell in drag. There are just some things you can’t un-see.
But I was still curious enough to go to the ticket counter and say, “One for Fifty Shades of Grey.” And instantly I got a look from the teenager like, ok, one ticket for S&M porn.
In case you are wondering, there is no tampon scene. This is too gross for a movie, but just right for a book.
Don’t worry, this movie is still full of deviant stuff. But there is nothing more deviant than watching a sex movie with soccer moms.
Unfortunately the end of the movie was very abrupt. I was like, “That’s it? That’s the end? I didn’t even have to use my safe word.” Maybe they just ran out of things to make me squirm in my seat.
If you like idea of S&M then go see this movie. If S&M is less of an idea and more of a reality, then this movie might put you to sleep. And you might just be a little bit of a weirdo.